I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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