how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
