Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
