there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
