i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
