im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
