Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Damn victory sex feels great
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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