So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
