sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
