just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
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