I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
