"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
