Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
