I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
