we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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