Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize