This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize