How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
