Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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