So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
