Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
