come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
