question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Every concussion has its silver lining
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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