Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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