Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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