and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
