that's an acceptable place to lick
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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