They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I love you. Go after that dick
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
