Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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