i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I just want nice things and good sex
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
