The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
