i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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