His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
