Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
pray to the hookup gods
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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