What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
