I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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