you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
