a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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