Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Randomize
