i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize