You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
