She's the barista slut.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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