STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
