my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
