they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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