Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
