And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
