Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
