Who wears a wallet chain?!
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
