What a fucking waste of an outfit
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
