Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
