so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I wish you could order shots online.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
