is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
