you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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