then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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