ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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