how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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