he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
