Do you still have your period?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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