Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
