turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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