She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
