She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize