We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
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