fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
