I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Drake has all the answers
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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