He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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