What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize