dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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