ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
