Christians are straight up FREAKS
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
