yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
