I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
no more duck duck goose at the bar
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
