i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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