If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
