dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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