just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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