No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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