No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
sex in a hospital.. check
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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