i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
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