Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
