only if we run a train.
done.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
